Who You Are

by Hazel Holland

Title

Who You Are

Artist

Hazel Holland

Medium

Painting - Oil - Digital Painting

Description

This beautiful painting was originally an oil painting of mine that morphed into "Dream Big, Little Girl", and then I digitally painted it in black and white and added text using Paint 3D and Photoshop Express.

This little girl I painted lives inside of me. She is part of who I am. She reminds me of the way I felt as a child much of the time... sad, afraid, unloved, invisible, but always hopeful that some day I would learn how to express my feelings without fear of being punished or ridiculed. So I want to share my heart with her before I lose the courage to be this vulnerable.

“Little girl, I always dreamed of having, but never had... You have been inside of me all along, but I have been too afraid to acknowledge your presence. So afraid to face the endless years of anguish and pain that knowing you would bring.

Your years of sadness and hopeless confusion are now your gift to me. I will dream big where you never knew you could. I will win where you never had permission to fail. I want you to know that you are very precious to me because you are me. You never knew that when you were two. You never received that message when you were five. Because you were neglected at six, I learned to neglect myself as an adult. Because you were rejected at seven, I learned to reject myself in every possible way.

Little girl, you learned that your feelings were not to be trusted when you were eight. You were told that your feelings would always lead you astray when you were nine... that they were foolishness when you were ten. So without realizing it you tried to ignore and repress the God-given means by which you could come to know yourself, your God, and the world around you when you were eleven.

Little girl, I abandoned you just like I was abandoned. I'm sorry that I have ignored your silent cries to be loved since you were two. Please forgive me for continually pushing you away when you needed to know that you mattered since you were four. I never knew there was any link, until now, between the little girl I rejected and the broken relationships I have been through. Going back is painful. Remembering brings tears. But refusing to see and go back and reclaim my lost childhood spells more heartache...

Little girl, you are loved…not only because you are part of me, but because you are made in God’s image. I have chosen to love you, because I am finally learning to love myself. Learning and accepting that God unconditionally loved me before I ever chose to love Him back has freed me to receive His heart for you. Becoming more aware of who I am in Him has given me the courage to snatch joy out of the path of pain, and embrace your soul in all its gentleness and sensitivity, and discover my own.

Little girl, that I now have, and always dreamed of having. You have given me the wisdom and folly of your years. They are your gift to me. I will dream big where you never knew you could. I will win where you never had permission to fail. Thank you for coming back. In loving you, I am beginning to love myself, because you see, dear one, it is me that I see when I look at you... and I want you to know that "All your life, everything that ever happened made you into the incredible person you are... even the hard stuff. ♥♥

Note: Fineartamerica watermark will NOT appear on the final purchased product.

Uploaded

December 20th, 2018

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